dealing with the haters
My good friend Sadie Nardini wrote a FaceBook post in 2019 about dealing with haters. It’s short and simple, but I think it’s also very effective and easy to hold in your heart. I know I can always use easy advice to deal with haters, as I’m sure all of you can as well.
Sadie is a really unique person. She’s a phenomenal yoga teacher who is both inspiring, compassionate, and able to look at yoga outside the conventional views. Some people find her sometimes unconventional approach to yoga to be disrespectful or just “not real yoga,” but I think she offers multiple modalities for the study of yoga. She’s creating a bigger tent to practice yoga and inviting us all in. Check out her website at SadieNardini.com.
It’s the most frustrating thing in the world to run into doubters and haters. Here’s what you can do when they appear:
I just taught at a women’s event, and heard a lot of pain around a few people in their various communities treating them like crap. They were afraid to be online more because then you get the trolls too.
One lady was so sweet, just trying to do her thing. And yet a competing yoga studio owner is spreading untrue gossip and BS about her to the students and teachers. Just because she’s afraid of this woman’s success.
She asked me what to do about it.
Listen, I can’t tell you how many times someone online has criticized me in a mean way, without ever having tried my yoga or listened to my music or engaged with my story. Just from a title (Yoga Shred: “Disgusting. That’s not yoga.”), a look (“I thought all yogis were not supposed to wear makeup.”), or a post about my fish tacos (“killing animals. so yoga.”).
Thankfully a vast majority of you leave kind, thoughtful, curious comments, which makes me clear that I’m on the right track as far as what I offer. Also, I know this to my core.But the haters? They percent of the time are jealous of you, are afraid of having to do their own work if you do yours, or have real problems with self-worth and loving communication, inside and out.My best advice when you come upon one of these vipers:
Take 2 steps:
#1: Let it sting, and realize with compassion that however someone speaks to you, in whatever perspective, is the one they hold about themselves and their life. It’s never about you, because what they have to say, they could say it with respect but are choosing not to. That’s on them.
#2: Block, delete, walk away, agree to disagree with their opinion about you, ignore, do not engage nor act out from reactivity, and keep your eye only on the goal of being your best and doing your best work. That’s on you.
Your tribe will see who you are, and the hater will look small and petty.
No one gets permission to bring their negativity to you–and have it work. Online or off. Keep your environment the way you want, and your purpose and message strong.
This is your only job now.
Sadie Nardini
October 21, 2019
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